XRayted Searches
by LoveIsInTheAirContest
Summary: Summary: Comedy with a slice of awkward lemon. We've got our Bella who is a little neurotic. Suffers from anxiety, may or may not be paranoid, a possible hypochondriac, traveling home for the holidays. Enter, sexy TSA Edward doing his job in security.


Love Is In the Air O/S Contest

Title: X-Ray-ted Searches

Rating & Any Needed Warning: MA

Word Count: 3,337

Pairing: Edward & Bella

Summary: Comedy with a slice of awkward lemon. We've got our Bella who is a little neurotic. Suffers from anxiety, may or may not be paranoid, a possible hypochondriac, traveling home for the holidays. Enter, sexy TSA Edward doing his job in security. Bella has to go through the new X-ray machine and hi-jinks ensue. OCC for sure!

Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyers owns all things related to Twilight. I just play with Bella and Edward making them do very strange things.

**X-ray-ted Searches**

I knelt down at the edge of my bed and rested my head on top of my clasped hands.

_I know I bother you a lot but this is kind of important. So, you know I'm going to Renee's for the holidays and I need to fly. Please don't let me sit next to a really big, gross, balding man, that smells like foot cheese. Oh and don't let them hand out those little packages of peanuts. If someone is allergic, they would have to make an emergency landing...oh and please don't let me be allergic to peanuts. And I have this weird thing happening with my left boob. I thought it was a pimple and I tried to pick at it. It got really red and big...do you think it could be MRSA? I mean I wasn't in the hospital but it could happen...but please don't let it. Oh and make sure the plane doesn't crash and I get to Renee's in one piece. Oh and don't let her make meatloaf. I hate meatloaf. Thanks. Amen. _

I stood up, walked over to my desk and reached up to my cork board. I plucked the perfectly typed check list off of the board and stared at it diligently.

_Toothbrush, check. _

_Toothpaste, mouthwash, floss, check. _

_Five perfectly matched outfits, check. Ten pairs of underwear, check. _

_You never know what could happen. _

With my red marker, I crossed each item off and double checked it was all packed. I attempted to lug my suitcase down the stairs… failing miserably, I missed a step and started to fall with my luggage toppling over me. All the hours of packing, everything sorted by day and color, gone in an instant. I had given myself plenty of time, more than the two extra hours needed for airport security. I just didn't have quite enough time to redo my meticulous packing. I huffed in frustration and started to just throw everything back into the case.

"Everything okay Bells?" Charlie called from his lazy-boy. The game was on, he wasn't going to come to my rescue until a commercial.

"Yeah, I'm good." I walked over to the couch and sat down for a minute. I eyeballed the Vitamin R on the end table. "You know, if you keep drinking that, it can lead to flushing, confusion, trouble controlling emotions, blackouts, loss of coordination, seizures, drowsiness, trouble breathing, hypothermia, low blood sugar, vomiting, diarrhea, and irregular heart beats."

I sighed and took it as my cue to get going. "Alright, Dad…" I made my way over to his chair, he stood up and I gave him a hug. "I'm going now."

"Alright. You tell your mom I said hi, and I'll talk to you when you land." He didn't need to tell me to call because he knew I would. I _always_ did.

The taxi pulled up right outside, this way I didn't have to attempt the walk with my case. The baggage check carousel was my first stop, and I handed my bag off to the friendly Jet Blue attendant. I took a deep breath and walked through the automated doors where I was hit with a gust of hot air.

The initial security line wasn't too bad, that was until I stood directly under a sign that said X-ray Machines In Use.

_Well it's a good thing I don't have a carry on. No need to x-ray anything I have. Who needs that extra radiation exposure? Not me, that's who. _

The man in front of me, with no luggage, walked to the x-ray machine on the right.

_Hmmm, I wonder why he would do that. He doesn't have a bag to x-ray. _

I watched him step into the machine and my eyes widened in horror. _No way!_

There was no way this was going to end well. While I appreciated the airport's efforts at keeping us safe, was a virtual strip search really necessary? I saw the scene unfold in my mind. It was like some bad Lifetime movie. A young girl was traveling alone, forced against her will into a strip search. They found some sort of drug on her, one that was never really hers to begin with. Then they sent her to jail for the rest of her life. _Charlie could get me out, right?_

I was torn away from my inner musings by some cackling hyenas behind me. One was very tall and very blonde. She was Texas pageant queen meets that stupid thing that came out of Big Bird's head on Sesame Street. The other girl resembled a dainty Tinkerbell, complete with Gothic style. She had eyes that were too big for her face and hair so black it was almost purple that hung in a stylish bob just below her chin. By the way they were talking, I could tell they thought they were attractive. _I guess if you're into the whole fake look and truck driver trash talk._

"Get a load of that one right there!" Thing One said, gasping in excitement.

"I know you've always had a thing for the big, dumb ones..." the small one pushed herself in front of me to get a better look "but _he_ has those lanky arms that I'm sure could fit into all the right places."

I started to gag. Did people really act like this? I patiently stood in line, trying to ignore the slutty twins. I just wanted to get this over with and forget it ever happened. The chatter just would not stop!

"Oooh," the blonde said, as if her brain cells started to work for the first time. "Maybe I should take my bra off before we get over there. You know, so they can get a good look at the girls. Do you think that I could get Muscles over there to volunteer to pat me down?" She smirked, probably thinking about doing him in the dirty airport bathrooms.

"You are so smart! Why didn't I think of that?" Thing Two asked, chastising her own stupidity. "I could always take off my thong. So Mr. Limbs could give me a cavity search. I only want to make his job easier." She batted her eyelashes to no one in particular. _Keep telling yourself that sweetie._

The incessant banter back and forth was making me physically ill. I felt like I had to vomit. Although, that could have been from the eggs this morning. I heard that there was a recall on eggs recently. I could have bought a bad batch and now I'm coming down with salmonella. _Wait a minute! What were they saying about bras and panties? _I started to pat myself down. I chewed on my bottom lip. It seemed like a really good idea when I decided to forgo undergarments this morning. I had just finished reading an article about chaffing. My logic was completely sound and in no way meant to be slutty. It said that sitting for long periods of time could cause sweating which could lead to chaffing. I figured the long plane ride wouldn't help, so I wore my loose fitting, breathable, cotton pants. They were basically glorified pajamas, but they could pass as something I could wear in public. That is, if I was the athletic type that was constantly on the go. I opted out of wearing my bra for two reasons. I didn't want any complications with the metal detectors. Under-wires aren't supposed to cause it to go off, but with me anything is possible. And two, I have this little fear that if I were to get into a plane crash, or car crash, any type of crash really, that if I survived, I would be impaled by my under-wire bra.

Instead of dying quick or bursting into flames, I would have punctured a lung or another vital organ. They would try to save me and tell me if they moved me I would die. They would ask if there was anyone I needed to say goodbye to. Mom and Dad, the sad case that I am. No boyfriend.

Before I could get lost in my inner ramblings, I got directed to the second x ray machine. Not the one Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb were salivating over. There was less traffic at this machine. I was relieved my embarrassment would be contained to just the operator and I. I was walking slowly to my impending doom and caught sight of him. _Could my day get any worse? He was hot damnit! And now he will be seeing Bella completely Au natural. _

"Great," I grumbled to no one in particular. I took a good look at him and our eyes met. I couldn't even describe it, my vast vocabulary had failed me. They were like the green of those flashing things, they use sometimes to hypnotize people, causing you to forget time… staring right at me, inspecting me. I met his imploring stare with a shy dip of my head. The intensity of his glare was bothering me and making my skin feel prickly. I could feel the heat across my cheeks and between my legs.

_Now is not the time Bella! _

It didn't matter how good looking he was, I had to go through the machine as quickly as possible. As I walked through, I took a quick glance at him. His eyes got really large and I saw his Adam's apple move up and down. It looked like he was staring at my butt… no? My butt never got that kind of reaction before. I had to stand perfectly still in the machine while he swiftly worked the machine. I could see the reflection of his face in front of me. He was starring at the screen. What could possibly be that interesting? He looked up at me confused. I just shrugged. He stepped away from his vigil and walked over to the other station. He came back with the other two cronies, Muscles and Mr. Lanky. Was I becoming a spectacle?

"Guys," a shaky voice said. "I'm not sure what this is." All three were huddled in the little cube pointing at the monitor.

"That my man," the big one said punching his arm. "Is a freak!" Lanky started to chuckle. I placed my arms over my chest trying to hide myself. I looked up at the TSA officer that had decided to torment me today. I pleaded with my eyes to just let me go. I wasn't a terrorist.

"No," TSA officer continued. "See that right there...Ma'am could you..." he motioned to me to move my arms "...do you mind moving your arms so we can take a better look?"

Of course I minded. What the hell was their problem? Were they looking at the pimple on my boob? Surely it wasn't that bad. I pulled my tee shirt away from me and took a peek. _Oh my God! That thing got huge. It's MRSA!_ Maybe he thought I was wearing a wire...or had some type of device implanted in me. It didn't matter, though. This was borderline harassment and I was getting upset.

"The arms," the voice reminded me.

"No."

"Ma'am..."

I cut him off, my anger bubbling over. "I'm not doing this anymore. It's not a bomb! I'm not an informant! I have a freaking zit...or maybe MRSA." He just looked at me like I was a crazy person, which I definitely was at this point. "What you don't believe me? Look," I demanded as I lifted my shirt and showed him what was really underneath it. He looked stunned before quickly running to me. He slowly pulled my hands down. His touch was gentle as I followed his movement with my eyes. He leaned in very close to me. I could smell the clean air around him. He was all citrus with a tad of leather. Unintentionally, I took a long inhale of his scent. I had to take a fresh breath soon before I was consumed by his headiness.

"I'm going to need you to come with me," he whispered in my ear. Feeling his hot breath against my neck put my hair on edge. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you."

He took my arm and guided me to one of the security rooms off to the side. He opened the door to what looked like an interrogation room. I had seen a much smaller version at Charlie's precinct.

"Have a seat." He pulled out the chair for me. "Please?"

I sat down hesitantly. He walked over to his side of the table and also sat. He placed a pad of paper in front him.

"Name?"

I knew the drill. "Swan. Bella. Bella Swan, sir."

The corners of his mouth turned up into a smirk. "You don't have to call me sir."

I gave him all the information he asked for. Every time I would speak, he looked at me so intently. Then he would jot something down.

"I'm sorry about before," he said, turning a faint shade of red. _He blushes too? How cute is that!_ I looked at him questioningly. "About that whole mess out there. I'm new to my job and I just want to do everything right. I would hate to be the person to let someone slip through the cracks."

I nodded. "It's okay, I understand."

"I didn't mean to embarrass you. I just saw something that didn't quite look right." He bit his lip, wanting to say more, but tried to hold it in. We both looked up at the same time. I held my breath. "I mean it looked more than right...better even...amazing...perky and supple...I just saw something that didn't belong." He scratched the back of his neck, shaking his head and laughing to himself. "I said that out loud, didn't I?"

My mouth formed a tight smile and I raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you saying you like my breasts?" He remained silent, an affirmation. I leaned forward. It was kind of endearing. He was just as awkward as I was. "You know their just adipose tissue right?"

"You're kind of strange," he said with a grin.

"I'm more than strange. I hate traveling. I have all sorts of anxiety. I'm slightly paranoid. I may or may not have a case of hypochondria..."

"Perfect..." he interrupted. "You forgot perfect. I'm guessing the hypochondria is why you think you have MRSA?"

I nodded bashfully. "Yeah, I have a tendency of making things into worst case scenario."

"May I?" He stood up and walked over to me, turning my chair to face him. "If it's not too forward. My father is a doctor in a hospital. I've seen my share of MRSA infections." I looked up at him, giving him permission with my eyes. He ever so gently, lifted the hem of my shirt. My breasts were literally in his face and he was eyeballing me like a prize pony. He looked like he wanted to reach out and touch me. If he did, I really don't think I would stop him.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"Bel..la," he stuttered. "I d..dd..don't think this was such a good idea."

"Is something wrong? It's MRSA isn't it?"

"No, no, no. You're beautiful… and smart… quirky, and funny." He pulled away and put my shirt back in place. "This was such a very bad idea."

"I don't understand," I said, looking completely confused.

"I have no real reason to hold you here. I figured if we came in here, I could shield you from some of the scrutiny. I feel very protective of you," he said, his look changing from light to serious.

"Why?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

"I wish I knew. Have you ever just wished you could step outside of yourself? Even if it was just for a day?" I nodded, knowing exactly how he felt.

I pondered that same thought almost everyday. I wondered if my idiosyncrasies were really a necessary part of my life. If I forgot to make a list before I traveled, would the world really end? I was so far from comfortable in my own skin, it was comical. I had accepted the way I was, thinking no one would really bother with me.

"Yes," I said, exhaling a slow breath.

"When you came through my line I wanted to step outside. I didn't want to be boring Edward, TSA officer, anymore. I wanted to be just a guy, that saw a girl and asked her out. But I can't do that. This job takes so much out of me. I see so many faces, day in and day out. But yours...I'm going to remember yours."

I knew if we both wanted to break out I would have to make a move. The poor, sweet boy in front of me was too stuck inside his own head to do anything about it. He would just be happy to live off of my memory. Not me. I needed to feel something. I was making myself sick with the precautions and paranoia. Maybe if I made this move, the rest of my life would fall into place.

"Okay, Edward," I said, standing up and facing him. "I'm going to give you something else to remember." I backed him up against the wall and wrapped my arms around his neck. I started to kiss him, trying so hard to place the thoughts of germs and bad breath from my mind. It started off slow, smooth, and sweet. He tasted like peppermint and honey. He opened his mouth to me and our tongues danced and swirled, tasting each other. It was the best kiss of my life. He sucked on my lower lip as his hands traced his way up my bare back. I wasn't sure how far this was going to go, but I really liked it. The more we kissed, the less anxiety I felt. I ground myself into him and was quite surprised to feel his hardness. I smiled to myself and felt his hand reach around my bottom. Fingers tiptoed to the front of my stomach and started to dip into the waistband. I wasn't sure where his confidence was coming from, but I liked it. Overloading my senses and wet for him, I felt his long fingers tickle my entrance. He was moaning into my mouth, breathing hard.

_This must be what heaven feels like._

Just as things were starting to progress, I heard the blaring noise of a loudspeaker in the background.

"Flight 407 to Arizona, now boarding."

I reluctantly pulled away from him and tried to catch my breath. I smoothed out my shirt and twisted pants.

"I have to go." I looked at him apologetically.

He handed me a piece of paper. "It's just a release form. Protocol." He wouldn't meet my eyes. Maybe I had pushed him too much. I wasn't sure what his problem was, but I stepped outside of myself and it felt liberating. I just wanted the same for him.

As I sat in my seat next to the emergency exit_, it's always good to be the first one out… _I unfolded the piece of paper. And right there, chicken scratch, at the bottom of the paper

_This is me, stepping outside, the only way I know how._

_Edward Cullen 360-756-231_

As I heard the turbine engines power up, I smiled… For the first time, I didn't feel nervous.

I guess we both stepped out of ourselves, becoming someone new, together.

I couldn't wait to come home.


End file.
